Sellling Doesn't Have To Be Painful...

Posted on July 27, 2010 by Ari Galper

This just in from one of our Unlock The Game members:

“What you teach about selling really hit home today after I received a prospecting call from one of Robert Kiyosaki’s wealth coaches. He was very aggressive and immediately launched into “stuffing” me down his sales funnel.

I’m thinking: ‘hang on…I don’t like this.’ I got off the phone quickly…shaking (literally). Previous to joining your program I completed sales courses run by Tom Hopkins, Brian Tracy and only last year did the Sales Advantage course from Dale Carnegie, so I understood his process.

Do you know the terrifying thought…I probably came across on the phone like him before I found you and didn’t even realize it, no wonder people find selling painful.”
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First things first, I love all of Robert Kiyosaki’s work.

In fact, his “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” books have made a major impact on my entrepreneurial thinking and financial success.

The real story here is that in our new economy, HOW you sell is now much more important than WHAT you sell.

If you love what you do and deeply believe in what you sell, but you are still unconsciously using sales behaviors popular back in the 80’s and 90’s, you’re going to burn leads rather than create them.

The spot light for the last few decades in selling has been all about how to “close” a sale.

But not a word about the risk you take by sacrificing the relationship for the pursuit of the sale.

Ironically, when you shift your mindset to a place where your main focus is on creating trust, the sale comes to you without the pain.

Here’s a primer on our sales mindset: 

To your success,



P.S. Have an opinion? I'd love to hear your feedback below.

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2 Comments     Add Your Comments Here

Ann Barr, Virginia Beach, Virginia , July 27, 2010 at 11:38 AM Ari, this makes so much sense. The old way of selling, unfortunately, caused many talented people to turn away from sales as a career because of the negative reaction to the aggressive approach taught by most sales training organizations.

Julie Crowen, Seattle, WA , July 27, 2010 at 12:56 AM You are so right Ari, most business people still believe selling is the way it was described in your post, boy do they have it all wrong. You're the only sales thought leader I've seen in the last 30 years that actually articulates and teaches what all of us have always known, but have been afraid to say so as not to challenge old sales guru thinkng.

Why Connecting at a Deep Level Is So Important

Posted on July 6, 2010 by Ari Galper

Just this past May I was an invited speaker at the Glazer/Kennedy SuperConference in Dallas along with other speakers including Dan Kennedy, Joan Rivers and Harry S. Dent.

The topic was how to create trust and connect with your customers and clients so they stick with you for life.

Got a really great crowd, over 500 hundred entrepreneurs.

In most of my talks, I include a few minutes about my son Toby who has Down Syndrome.

I explain that he has had a profound impact in my life and has redefined for me what it really means to connect with others at a deep level.

The event was a success and there was literally a room-wide rush to get involved with my teachings related to selling and business.

A few weeks after the event back at home here in Sydney, I got a message from Brian Horn, who was someone in the audience during my talk back in Dallas.

His message was that, literally, his wife gave birth that morning to a new born named Jackson, who had Down Syndrome.

Jackson Horn taking a snooze July 4th

He wrote that both him and his wife were in a state of shock, completely overwhelmed to discover that Jackson, their first son, was going to be a little different than what they expected.

When I read his note, I started to get very emotional because I was in his exact shoes six years ago when my son Toby was born.

Brian was reaching out for support and understanding.

I found his phone number and called him that night.

Here’s what I had to say:

“Brian, what you are feeling and experiencing is completely acceptable and even expected given what’s happening right now.

Let me first tell you, that you have been given a GIFT, a beautiful child who will teach you things beyond what you could have ever imagined.

He will need more attention and caring than most other children as he grows up, but you will be well rewarded for that in ways that your life has never prepared you for.

Imagine throwing a small rock in a pond, and realizing that the touch of the water impacts the entire pond.

Jackson will impact you and your wife’s life in every way possible.

You’ll experience love in a way you never have before.

Everyone around you, in your personal and business life will become more human to you.

You’ll learn to care more about others.

As you become more successful in your entrepreneurial activities, Jackson will always be there to remind you about what is most important in life.

Jackson will teach you how to connect with others at a deep level.

Begin to let go of what you and your wife expected Jackson to be, and start to accept him for who he is.

Who he is, is your precious gift to cherish for the rest of your life.”

To your success,



P.S. Have an opinion? I'd love to hear your feedback by clicking on "Add Comments" below.

16 Comments     Add Your Comments Here

Bob Whyte, Canton, CT , July 10, 2010 at 8:16 PM I have read your messages with interest for months, including a few that made mention of your son. But this posting said so much about the humanity and humility of a Dad who made a "no matter what" pact for life with his son. And while I'll never know the lessons your son has taught you, it comes through loud and clear in your words. Very inspirational. Thanks.

jeff wilson, staunton,va , July 9, 2010 at 5:52 AM What more can be said.....there are teachable moments and teachers all around us if we will but have ears to hear and eyes to see. Thank you Ari.

Norma, Mississauga , July 8, 2010 at 1:50 PM Now I know what Ari stands for... "A Real Inspiration". The more I listen to you Ari, the more I see the gifts of humility, wisdom, and love all integrated into one beautiful inspiring teacher who truly cares about helping others to grow. I might add that your parents have done a remarkable job of raising you. Thank you for being your authentic you.

Marc Miles, , July 8, 2010 at 4:24 AM Ari, you are an amazing source of joy and empowerment for so many. Your gift is your gift. You touch this world and so many people in it. Amazing to be part of your world and thank you for blessing mine, particularly right now. Particularly now. Thank you and my well wishes to Brian and all other dads out there. Ari Galper, Founder, Unlock The Game® , July 8, 2010 at 8:32 PM I'm humbled Marc, thank you.

Joanie McMahon, Canmore Alberta Canada , July 7, 2010 at 5:28 PM Just read this and thought you folks may be interested in the teachings of Abraham as spoken through Esther Hicks. They teach that all beings come forth knowing full well what they have chosen. These beautiful children have come forth to truly teach unconditional love and to teach that happiness is the goal and our birthright. As well, they are here not to be put into boxes but to teach freedom. Ever since I learned this from Abraham @abraham-hicks.com I have got it and understand this at a deep level. Thanks for sharing your experience Ari. Joanie

Bill Enross, Boston , July 7, 2010 at 4:48 PM It's true (the Gift part). My son Christopher contracted an encephalitis that settled in his brain stem at 2 years old that resulted in epilepsy, no short term memory, and severe learning difficulties. When he was 10, he contracted diabetes and is insulin dependent to this day, he's 33 now. The upside to all of this is that Chris and I have a father/son relationship that I would not trade for all the money in the world. Chis graduated from high school at 21, and has held a steady job of about 30 hours a week ever since. The 'gift' part is that I am a better person for having him in my life and although I'd give my right arm if he could be 'normal' so life would be easier for him, I'm afraid I'd miss the lessons he teaches me. My heart goes out to the Horn family, my wish for you is to know the joy he will surely bring. Ari Galper, Founder, Unlock The Game® , July 7, 2010 at 5:45 PM As you said Bill, it's the lessons in life we need to look for to make ours and other's lives meaningful.

Alex Makarski, Richmond Hill, ON, Canada , July 7, 2010 at 2:40 PM Beautiful words, Ari. This life is all about recognizing the challenges that come our way as indispensable gifts that help us grow and learn about ourselves. -Alex

Dave Pipitone, Streamwood, IL , July 7, 2010 at 2:37 PM Thanks for sharing this beautiful story. Every child, every person is a unique treasure from God, no matter the color, disposition, physical, mental or emotional attributes. Toby and Jackson are priceless - and the love that their parents have for them makes the world glow brighter with a golden glow.

Larry Hoover, Rancho Cucamonga, CA , July 7, 2010 at 2:32 PM Thanks for the sharing Ari. I have worked as a Special Ed teacher for many years and have learned so much more than I taught. Also thanks for your idea (& email) about recording each morning as to what you worked on the previous day in order to attain your dream (goals). Larry Hoover

Hart Davidow, Oswego, New York , July 7, 2010 at 2:20 PM Ari I knew from the first day we had talked that you were one of those very special and important people that I would always keep close to my heart, like so many that have changed my life and made new chapters that have made me who I am and who I have become and becoming every day of my life, until the day God takes me, but before then, I get to give what I have learned from you and so many to others, that I have learned from you and some many more. Just know that you have discovered the real world of giving and understanding and what it is to have a child and a mission of giving and loving. Please keep passing the word of love and understanding to all that will listen, for we all need to keep hearing it, so we will all understand, one day what it really means. Congratulations Brian to you and your wife on your new born son and the gift you have been so blessed with. Hart Davidow Your No B.S. Business Coach Ari Galper, Founder, Unlock The Game® , July 7, 2010 at 5:42 PM wow, thank you so much Hart.

Brian Horn, Pearland, TX , July 7, 2010 at 9:03 AM Thanks for the support again Ari. :) Ari Galper, Founder, Unlock The Game® , July 7, 2010 at 5:41 PM It's my honor Brian.

Marcus Mailey, Seattle, WA , July 6, 2010 at 11:50 PM You and Brian have both given us a gift with your story. I've never seen a business thought leader such as yourself stand for such high values.

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