Wisdom From Toby's Friends
I am touched by your comments. I believe that love expresses itself in no more vivid detail when we accept people as God has created them and take from them the wisdom that they have been gifted with that we were not.
In all things sales related, I have learned that no greater quality than being genuine is required. Is it real…are you real? Yes it is and yes I am are the foundation pieces of the trust that we all seek, be it from our family, our friends, or our business relationships.
Thanks again for your comments. As I look at the happy picture of both your family and mine on my desk, it is easy to conclude that people are just people like me doing something that I might be doing for a living had I lived their lives. That thought alone makes the phone very light, and I only hope that it makes me sound genuine, because I am.
Have a terrific day!
This piece is wonderful!! Your insights are profound and well articulated. I have heard many stories of parents who were at first very disappointed to learn they had a child with Down Syndrome, only to learn later that the child they received was an absolute blessing, adding much joy, love, and insight into their life. With special challenges, often comes special gifts!
What strikes me most about the "Lessons from Toby" is that the points you brought up all create the Unlock The Game Mindset. When you get in the present moment, slow down and focus, don't let things get to you, and move out of judgement, your conversation is genuine, authentic, it is easy to create rapport, and most of all it is easier to get to the Truth of the matter.
You don't really talk specifically about these characteristics in UTG, but your coaching always seems to be towards getting people to slow down, being relaxed, adding pauses (be in the present), understand their problem (slow down, focus on listening to the prospect), not to judge (the gatekeeper may be the decision maker), and to be willing to accept whatever outcome, seeking out the Truth (not being judgemental).
I like how you brought out these ideas that support the Unlock The Game Mindset, yet you never mentioned Unlock The Game or the Mindset. Surely, and hopefully your readers will make this mental leap!
THANK YOU FOR THE NICE GREETING AND YES WE ARE ENJOYING OUR NEW YEAR WITH FIRST OF COURSE WITH CELEBRATING JESUS CHRIST BIRTHDAY AND THE PEACE AND HAPPINESS WE HAVE IN OUR LIVES. I WISH THE SAME HAPPINESS FOR YOU YOUR WIFE AND LITTLE TOBY. HE IS YOUR ONLY CHILD I GATHER. YES WE ALL CAN LEARN FROM TOBY.HE DON'T LET HIS HANDICAP BROTHER HIM AND STILL GOES RIGHT ALONE WITH THE OTHER KIDS . HE WILL NEVER LET THE DOWN SYNDROME BOTHER HIM. AND HE WILL ALWAYS BE ACCEPTED BY OTHERS. I SEE OTHERS AROUND ME THAT I KNOW CAN DO CERTAIN THINGS BETTER THAN ME BUT I REALIZE WHAT I,M GOOD AT AND WE ALL PUT OUR DIFFERENCES TOGETHER AND GET OUR DESIRES ACCOMPLISHED. P.J. I HAVE A FRIEND THAT HAD A DAUGHTER BORN WITH DOWN SYNDROME AND SHE HELD HER OWN ALL THROUGH SCHOOL AND NOW GRADUATING FROM HIGH SCHOOL.
SHE PLAYED SPORTS AND WAS RECOGNIZED WITH A NICE WRITE UP IN THE PAPER THE BEST I REMEMBER HER PICTURE WAS WITH THE ARTICLE TOO. PJ. I WAS TOLD AT CHURCH THIS LAST SUNDAY OF THIS 15 YEAR OLD BOY THAT WAS BORN WITH A DOWN SYNDROME AND HIS MOTHER PRAYED FOR 15 YEARS THAT GOD WOULD BRING HIM UP TO BEING NORMAL. TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT HE WAS HEALED AND THE PRINCIPLE AT HIGH SCHOOL ADVANCED HIM TO TO THE TENTH GRADE AND HE WAS DOING ALGEBRA AND TRIGONOMETRY AND WENT ON TO COLLEGE AND DID 5 DEGREES.I THINK HE IS PREACHING NOW. PJ. I HOPE THIS WILL ENCOURAGE YOU AND HIS MOTHER WITH TOBY.
WISH BEST WISHES IF THE NEW YEAR.
Thank you so much for sharing Tobys lessons.
As a woman at the menopausal cross roads of life, I have recently hit into a place in life where all my previous assumptions as to who I am and how I have to act in life have been kicked out from under me. I have had to re-assess what life is really truly all about, and so much of what you have said that are the lessons you are learning from Toby are the same gifts I have also been learning.
just like all the other kids, WE ARE ALL also as UNIQUE as they are. Maybe if we can learn how to be a little more in the moment, with more patience and openness, and to recognize that we're just like everyone else -- and also uniquely ourselves -- we'll find it easier to reconnect with the best parts of ourselves as human beings.
The journey definitely seems to be to reconnect with the best parts of ourselves as human beings
Thank you Toby, for your prompting me to remember to stay connected with my unique GRACE. You have an exquisite life mission and are already fulfilling it.
Happy New Year to you, Michelle and Toby!
What a great story! I want to applaud you for your insight and for sharing it with others.
The principles you talked about are the keys to living a fulfilled and purposeful life and everyone can benefit from that.
I truly believe there are no accidents in life. Your precious gift (Toby) has put you on a path to educate and inspire people to be better, to grow and expand consciously, become enlightened and to love one another.
As a coach I have a similar vision The Enlightenment of Humanity through Leadership, Education and Coaching.
Two books which I am reading now cover similar themes to your email; The Success Principles by Jack Canfield and The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle both are extremely good reads.
Im looking forward to a huge year and to really understand the mindset on a deeper level.
Thanks again for sharing.
I wanted to take a moment and personally thank you for the courage of sharing something that could be percieved by some as a 'challenge' (and I'm sure in some moments it is, on various levels), and using it as a 'gift.' Your gift - Toby - and the lessons he affords ALL of us - through YOU and your beautiful writing - is one that I cherish deeply. It's wonderful that you and Michelle have embraced Toby and his many gifts the way you have.
Wishing you all the best in 2006...and beyond,
Dear Toby, Michelle and Ari,
We totally agree. There are thousands different kinds of people: some are good at mathematics, some at spiritual matters, some at business... we believe the "Intelligence of the Heart" is the most important. Toby being raised in the loving environment you are providing for him will grow to a fine person with lessons to teach everyone who is open enough to learn from him.
Clementine (12-14!!!), Alexandra and Jerome
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. We also have a Downs Syndrome family member and identify with your observations.
Sincerest Regards to you and your family in this New Year.
I am responding to your new year greetings "Lessons from Toby". Your story once more tells me how true it is that the almighty will always balance happiness and with some amount of pain infused as a "package". I guess this shows once more that life is a great leveller. Truly inspiring the positive spirt that you show in adversity...everyday.
Heres how Toby is contributing toward unlocking my game in 2006.
One of the things I've noticed holding me back in contacting, meeting is a hint of 'shame' and 'guilt'.
I'm a little ashamed of not being perfect yet...
of my solution not being a perfect match for everyone I meet, in every single possible way, and therby feeling guilty about interrupting, intruding, taking up someones precious time, pretending I could be of help.
But Toby is giving me a different message is he not Ari?
The way I see it Toby is telling me to TONE DOWN my expectations about how a
conversation is going to be, and what happens when the
conversation doesn't turn out the way I thought it would
Smart kid you got there Ari
So I want you to do me a favor, if thats okay by you
and thats to Wish that very helpful hard working little guy of yours a very
happy (a whisker belated) birthday for me.
Could you do that.
Toby seems like a bundle of joy. Sometimes the most obvious things in life are the hardest to see and easiest to forget. I have printed your letter out and will read it everyday. Thank you and much health and happiness to you and your family.
Thanks for the letter. I have learned that these are special children who are usually sent to special people. Our Father In Heaven says that they were valiant spirits who did not have "prove" themselves on earth but were sent here to get a body and have a brief earthly experance. If we knew who they were in our pre-exsistanent state we would feel a need to fall down and worship then. You are very fortunate to have him. May God help you and give you the guidance you need to raise him.
I love the fact that you thought us worthy of sharing your life with us. I am touched by your trust.
I am so proud of you that I do not see any other emotion but joy in your and Michelle’s eyes at having Toby in your lives.
I sometimes get frustrated that I do not have the multi-tasking abilities that a lot of my colleagues have. I usually do one thing at a time and try to think only one thought at a time though unsuccessfully under stress. Looking at Toby I feel I can learn to be grateful for the abilities that I do have rather than feel small for the abilities that I do not.
Looks like Toby is enjoying every single moment of his life. It is inspiring, certainly.
Thank you for sharing a part of your life with me again.
Looking forward to helping you succeed,
I loved your article about Toby. I cried. Not out of sympathy, but pride. I worked for 6 wonderful years with adults just like Toby and the lessons I learned were awesome. I wish I could hug him. You will have a wonderful life with this special angel from heaven. Thanks for sharing, it has made me smile and I have to say I envy you, you have so many wonderful times ahead of you with Toby. Bless you.
Ari, this is one of your best articles yet. You and your wife are blessed to have a "little Buddha" in your life!
We are in the process of packing up and leaving Socal. Off to Central OR in 2
weeks. I trust we will stay in touch. I wish you all the very best.
HI...Best Wishes to you and enjoyed your family story -lesson. You are so down to earth realy person. May God Bess you with many joys of Tody's unigueness.
Type your note here...Ari, I just read your "Toby's Training" and all I have to say is AWESOME!!! I love kids and animals for the exact same reasons. Also, they love unconditionally. They remove so much stress. To be like that again is my dream . Thanks so much for all your tips and training. Have a GREAT YEAR!
Ari, Insightful and beatifully communicated ....as always. But this one so close to the heart. One of my greatest life teachers was my first son born 25 years ago, diagnosed autistic. You reached me in a new way today.
This was an enjoyable read and for someone who has been blind since birth, I can definitely understand the things that you are saying.
It is important to live life to it's fullist and I especially like the idea of slowing down to focus but at the same time allowing nothing to hold me back from doing what I need to do to succeed.
Toby is a very lucky little boy to have such great parents. I have often thought about how challenging life becomes when things don't go as you plan. Not that you're not in love with your precious little boy; it's obvious that you are. I hope that you both continue to be as strong and as loving as you are now, and I'm sure you will.
I enjoy your emails and have even more respect for you now.
Hi to Toby; he's adorable.
Thanks for your words of wisdom. I'm new at real estate and really appreciate your letters. Louise.
Type your note here...Hi Ari, What a wonderful thing to share with your clients. The lessons you have learned from Toby are surly valuable to everyone. I know he is very special.
I don't want to presume to be spiritual about this, but I feel that God has blessed Toby with two parents that obviously love him very much, just as He has blessed you and Michelle with Toby.
All the best to you and yours in the New Year.
It has been awhile since we last spoke. Since we talked I have experienced great success with what you teach but Still have a lot to learn that's for sure. It is more in everyday life than in business. People are more open to what I have to say because I am more open to how they feel and desire.
Although my girlfriend will say I have to work on the listening..haha Hey I just wanted to say thank you for allowing me the change to grow to become an effective and influential person. Evidence is appearing in my life daily.
thanks for being a part of my success
What a very lovely new years letter - thank you for your open heartedness.
I especially value "Slow down and focus" it is the hardest thing in the world and of course it's humbling to remember that a 2yr old can find this quite easy. Indeed we ARE all differntly abled!!
I will add it to my New Year resolutions along with a couple of other "work smater" decisions - like starting the day with active, human interactions, rather than email or other passive activities, and end each day with a plan for the next.
"Slow down & focus", along with "live in the present moment" are a perfect approach for everything between the start and the end of each day!
Thank Toby for the reminder ;)
All you said is so true.
Best of luck to you and your family. You really have your head on straigh!!!..
This is my first year to volunteer as coordinator for the St. Judes Childrens Hospital. I am nervous to say the least. Your insight motivated me to continue this event with more confidense. I have 3 children - & attempt to be as hands on as possible. We need a resource such as you, to sincerely observe what this life is all about. As a former hospital chaplain, the social trauma experience has most certainly revealed more self-enlightenment about what this thing is all about. Bring about this fresh perpsective Ari - the world needs more men like you.
Thank you Ari for such a thought provoking Story.
Often in our lives we need a jolt or to notice something quite different in order to make changes.
Certainly, I am no fast learner and I may have difficulty adjusting to this learning challenge (probably becasue I am quite structured). Such stories reinforce that I should not feel inferior about difficulty in grasping new concepts nor adapting to the changed mindset.
Thank you again
Congratulations with your beautiful little boy and how happy you all look from the pictures. I worked with children with down syndrom a couple of summers, almost 20 years ago and it was such a great and giving experience. I am sure Toby has a rich and loving life before him as do you being his lucky parents. Best wishes.
Thanks for sharing the story about Toby. The love and affection he gives will touch many lives as he is not afraif to show his true emotions which is an ability that many of us "normal" people have lost. It is a special gift to have a child like Toby.
Thank you for your email advice - it is straight to the point and very helpful
May God bless you and your family
Great letter. Loved the messages. Happy Birthday to Toby!
This was amazing! I can't believe how personal you're getting. I guarantee this will result in an outpouring of feedback and support.
Hey I've been doing some thinking myself about my birthday this year, special b/c it's my 35th, and came to a big realization over the holidays. I think I wanted that big seminar bash for my readers, not me. So my plans are going to alter to a private party with friends, but still something amazing! Perhaps here in town or even Las Vegas. If you'll be in town, I'd still love you to attend. I won't plan much until after my workshop in March.
You, Michelle, and Toby are such a beautiful family -- and an inspiration to me. : )
Alexandria Brown - The Ezine Queen.
You have a beautiful family.
Thank you for taking the time to share those lessons.
I am going to print them out a pin them to the wall where I can see them
when I work.
HI Ari, Toby & Michelle.
I really enjoyed your story. i guess we should all take time to slow down and live in the now. We have a 5 month old son and understand the pleasure you can get from simply watching as they figure things out for the first time.
Hop all 3 of you have great 2006.
Thank you so much for sharing such personal information and how it has affected you. I am so glad to hear that things are going so well for you and your family. Your thoughts really hit home for me too.
Ari - thanks for that insight - and the reminder. My Dad used to work with Downs Syndrome teens and he was able to empower them to work at what they could do - not focus on what they could not. It was an important lesson for me. I will never forget how loving and jolly, in the moment, they were and how wonderful it was to be around them - a legacy my Father gave me..... now passed on and doing more good work on other levels! Very best wishes to your fun son - he's in for a good life with caring parents.
Your thoughts about Toby certainly do teach us a multitude of lessons. Thanks for sharing them.
Appreciate your mail; yes, we could learn from Toby a few good lessons; wish you all the best.
i would like to say that you are amongst the luck few in the world that enjoys parent hood and you speaking of Toby the way you have is an inspiration have 4 children who i live and die for my world is built around them there is nothing in my life that gives me more joy you should be proud of toby he is a georgious boy i often listen to the radio station 954 am and the antisipation of a boy whos name is dale who also has down sindrom he makes my day he gets on there and he talks about his mum he sings and he laughs and jokes with laws at the end of it i think what a man what a life and what an inspiration a man with this disability but with the ability to show us so called able people what life should be about thanks for the greetings i hope your family stay well and have a great year good luck.
I wish you and your loved one's a very happy New Year.
Thank you for the e-mail, I apologize for not contacting you sooner, it's been a very tough holiday season.
I lost 4 friends -
1. Nov. 23, 05 Bobby - 42 years of old; committed suicide, wife died of cancer, leaves 3 children behind.
2. Dec. 16, 05 Jake - 33 years old; wasn't feeling well, laid down to take a nap, never woke up, leaves a wife and 4 boys behind.
3. Dec 31, 05 Roger - 40 years old; on his way to visit family for the holiday, run off the road into a lake and drowns, was to get married this summer.
4. Jan 4, 06 April - 27 years old; on her way home from work, two days away from maternity leave, both her and her unborn child killed by a drunk driver.
It's tragedies like these that force someone to sit back and reflect, about just how fortunate they are to be healthy and be given the opportunity of a new day. One they can waste or use it for good, whatever the choice, you're exchanging a day of your life for it. Make it a good choice.
I've shed many tears in the past few weeks - tears of sadness and loss, tears of gratefulness for what I have, and tears of hope. This will be a great New Year!
Ari, thank you for sharing your story. You're a good man. Take care of that beautiful family of yours.
Again, Happy New Year.
Thank you for sharing this special boy with us. You and Michelle have been blessed with a great gift. My brother has Downs and I am who I am today, largely due to my brother Rick and the lessons he has shown me throughout his life. Rick who is now 45, graduated from high school (special needs program), has lived alone for the last 15 years ( with some supervision) and rides the bus each day to work. My greatest childhood memory was when we were playing the little league championship game and Coach put Rick in for pitcher in the last inning with 2 outs and we were winning by a couple runs. The batter grounded out and we won-- the look on my brother’s face of pure joy, will never leave me.
Take Care Ari!
Thank you for sharing your reflections regarding your son, Toby. Good life lessons for us all, indeed.
THE CAMAROTO FAMILY IN NEW YORK SENDS YOUR FAMILY ALL OUR LOVE....WE KNOW WERE YOU ARE COMING FROM...WE HAVE 2 BEAUTIFUL BOYS 1 TYPICAL MATHEW 6 AND LITTLE BRYAN 5 WITH AUTISM.. IT TAKES SPECIAL PEOPLE TO LOVE THESE BABIES LIKE WE DO..GOD BLESS
Bravo! I am from Indianapolis, IN USA. I do not remember how I got hooked up with your emails. Probably a couple of years ago when I worked for a company that had no sales training or sales thoughts, they just wanted to grow the business. Hire a sales professional and everything will be OK. I will save that story for another day.
I have always read your emails because they drew my interest. What you say, I think is very true and honest. I read what you wrote about your son and I think our children teach us very valuable lessons if we take the time to listen to them.
I am a small business owner and have been at my desk for 12 hours making the business work. Today was a good day. For me to take the time to write you is a compliment to you. Thank you for your words of wisdom.
Mary Pat McKee
Greetings and best wishes for the New Year!
Although I have not invested in your program (yet) I am so impressed with not only the quality of information that you provide, but the high-quality person that you are.
The message I received yesterday reinforced my opinion even more.
Your message resonated with me on several levels:
As an educator, I experienced working with high school students that were special needs. In my homemaking classes, they were expected to do the work just like everyone else. I made a few accommodations for them, but treated them like everyone else. I noticed that my attitude spilled over to the students. Jeannie took a little more time to get around (she was in a wheelchair) and Laurie could take the same tests, if I put blanks for each letter instead of just a line. Their successes were treasured moments I still remember now, almost 25 years ago.
In the corporate world I had the opportunity to work on SpecialNet, a GTE Education services network – in the late 80’s / early 90’s. It was amazing and exciting to see how the Special Needs community (from policy makers, through the Schools systems, to the grassroots level) was connected online (pre-Internet) and supportive. They were early adopters of technology for both adaptive equipment and communications. As a technology enthusiast, it was the ultimate use of making technology serve humanity, solve problems, and build diverse online communities for support. I was privileged to meet, work and serve on committees with State level officials in Texas and California as well as parent advocates.
As a parent, I have two grown children, 20 and 18. They are both individuals, with their own personalities. My son Elliott, is in the Navy, stationed in Japan. My daughter Natalie, is in her first year of college in Oklahoma. While they are now out in the world, making their own decisions, I am proud that they have grown to become compassionate giving people. Are they perfect? No! But they have respect for themselves and others. And that is a good base for making decisions that lead to a life of purpose.
You are blessed to have Toby in your life. Already you are learning new lessons from him that you had not experienced previously. In our “hurry up, make quick judgments, faster, faster, faster world” we are truly missing out on living in the present, as you astutely mentioned.
I would suggest to you that everyday you tell Toby that he is a man of purpose. He will do great things in his life and make many people happy. Planting the seed of positive thinking, actions, words and deeds is incredible. From your letter, I know that you are already doing things like this, but consider this as reinforcement to your parenting that you are on the right track.
I commend you on your courage to share with your readers Toby’s story. Continue to remind us with “Toby moments” about the simple, yet powerful lessons that you are learning from your son as you two make life’s journey together. As teachers (in a diverse setting) we never know that full lasting impact that we have on others. You are a teacher – though your messages.
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. Blessings to you, your wife and your precious son Toby!
Your message today really struck a chord with me. I have three children. Twins Jack and Kate are the youngest at 2. Jack was diagnosed with an arachnoid cyst on his brain when he was 9 months old. At the time of diagnosis, we were devastated – literally falling to the floor in grief. Our minds took us right away to the stage of mourning all the dreams we had for him. The MRI scans looked terrible and we had no idea what to do.
We have since learned that his condition is not life threatening, that it is not a cancer, and that some people live completely normal lives not even knowing they have a cyst on their brain. Jack’s head is a little above the growth curve, but he is not in pain from it, and we’ve seen some of the best nuero-surgeons in the Chicago area who agree that with monitoring, Jack can lead a pretty normal life.
It’s very hard to quiet the worries that we have as parents, but so often I find that when I do, things tend to take care of themselves. The times of crisis are usually things we never thought of, and the things we worry about usually never happen!
I feel extremely blessed by the gift of all three of my children as I am sure you do. Keep up the good work. Your approach to sales fits my life and values better than any other I have read.
I did visit this link and read your story. You shared many wise
observations. It is amazing what life and children can teach us if we slow
down, observe and reflect. My life is richer because of these insights.
it took a lot of courage to share an aspect of your personal life with your business worldtruly inspiring...
You really do "live" unlockthegame - 100%
Thank you Ari
What a wonderful way to help us all to "stop and smell the roses." As a cancer survivor, I can attest to the value of "living each day to the fullest." "Being present" is a true gift to give to others when we are with them. My husband and I are working to bring "relaxation and rejuvenation" to our clients with our seated chair massage business. Perhaps they can then allow themselves to "stop and smell the roses" and "be present" for someone else. Take care. Best wishes for a healthy New Year. Peggy
I too have a son with Down’s … he’s 34 today … but I remember a day in 1980 when Bart was 8 and I was in Chapel Hill NC as a pilot in the Air Force with an afternoon off. Bart and I went for a walk this fall day in a wonderful woods just behind our home on a path that had been carved out of the trees by thousands who enjoyed the scenery and peacefulness of the setting. The path was like a tree covered umbrella … shrouds of sun would peak through from time to time … leaves were everywhere and they would fall from the canopy and waft down before our eyes … just dancing in the gentle breeze … Bart was a good walker and I was intent on “getting him some good exercise” to keep his waist line in shape. We were walking at a good pace, Bart was behind me and I’d clear the path of any fallen branches so he’s not trip (balance is an issue with Down’s kids) as I came out of a turn and looked back to see Bart I noticed “he was gone!” Oh my gosh … I’d lost him in the woods … panic began to surface … I turned and ran back down the path and as I completed a bend in the path … there was Bart … sitting in the middle of the path, cross legged (Indian Style) right among a pile of leaves, just picking up leaves and releasing them to watch them float back to the pile … just then a ray of light burst forth from the tree tops and illuminated Bart like a “light beam from heaven” as a leaf broke free from its branch and fluttered down ever so slowly until it to landed safely right on top of Bart’s head … he felt it, reached up and grabbed it, examined it intently, and then “threw it out into the path to fall to the ground.
Well … my “focused walk” came to an end … I sat down in the path with Bart, crossed legged, and we just enjoyed the moment until the sun settled, the breeze turned into a crisp fall chill and we returned home – peaceful and content.
I know you’ll enjoy similar moments with Toby …
Happy New Year, Ari! Congratulations on all of your family blessings and certainly your message was what we all need to be reminded of. A couple of books that I constantly read and re-read that help me with this same thought process are:
Your Best Life Now by Joel Osteen and
Don't Worry, Make Money by Dr. Richard Carlson. Thanks for sharing your story. Blessings to you and your family.
Thank you for all the information you have e-mailed me. I have listened to the "teasers" that you have e-mialed me, and I am debating if I should purchase the discs. I also would like to chat with you to see where my strong and week points are involving my verbalization skills on the phone. This is my first month learing the business, not to mention I am the youngest out of all my co workers so I would really like to get any insight. Thank you for your time!
Thanks for sharing your touching message. Best of luck and Happy Birthday to your beautiful little
That was a very wonderful note you sent. What great insight you have.
You have a lovely family.
Thank you for sharing.
God bless you and your family. Life is full of suprises and many thing that regardless to how we live our lives we either feel we don't deserve and most of all many we don't expect. I'm 36 years old and I have lost two brothers and my father to AIDS. I have overcome many obstacles in my life but for some reason things at times happen that I don't expect.
What always keeps me gfoing is the beautiful smile I get from my precious little girls, they are definitly my only hope for better days.
Looking at the picture of you and your family I see that God is looking over you.
Many thanks for your good wishes, and your thoughts regarding Toby's special day. It was so nice to hear that even with problem's that many of us have, children will alway's overcome them, with the detemination that even many adults lack. I have alway's believed that everyone of us is unique, no one else is exactly the same or ever will be. It is just that some people make the most of what they have got, but the best examples are usually set by children. Many of my grandchildren, twelve in total, plus a great-grandaughter. Some are very talented, we have two that are dyslexic, one that has a rare form of autism, but with a parents love, and guidance it makes it all worthwhile. Toby has that special love from you,and Michelle.I would like to take this opportunity to wish you all a happy, healthy, and successful New Year, from Pat , and myself. Kind Regards.
It's not often I take the time to reply to your newsletters but I can assure you they are read and very much taken on board.
I would like to Thank you for sharing a personal part of your life to us and introducing Toby in such a special way.
I have just recently had a baby girl and have decided to continue working in radio on a part time basis. Although Michaela is a healthly wee sweet heart, I'm sure I'll face the biggest challenges of my life as we endeavour to guide her through this crazy wonderful, scary world we live in.
I love my job, I love being a mother and a wife and sometimes you're whirling around at such great speeds, multi-tasking and trying to be the best at everything and feeling like you're not doing anything very well at all.
It's so re-assuring to read your newsletter and remember the wonders of life and how they all relate in some form, be it personal or on a work level.
Today I have slowed down to take time to write to you, I appreciate I'm not perfect but know I'm being the best I can be, and although I have a tough meeting today I will walk away knowing I have done my best, with honesty and integrity.
Thanks for a being a part of a great start to my day!
Kind Regards to you and your beautiful family
How precious Toby must be! The Lord only entrusts special children in those He knows can get it right. You and your wife must be wonderful people!
Thanks for sharing his life story. The statements you made are all so true. They are particularly poignant to me as I make decisions about what I should do with my business in 2006. I will recall Toby as I consider all the possibilities!
Have a great year!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and observations that life with Toby has given you.
I think it's important, whether dealing with people, situations, or problems, that we remember learn to look not for "what is wrong" but simply "what is so", and from that we can find useful place to start from. Looking for what is wrong creates an inclination to start to think that there is *always* something wrong with every situation. Finding what is wrong tends to end up with blaming something or someone else and thereby dismissing our power to make a difference or choice in the matter. It is never as useful to blame as it is to find out what is actually so, and choose our response to it. Seeing "what is so" is also facet of enlightenment that we often enjoy as children, before we get conditioned as we grow older to look for "problems" everywhere.
The way you choose your response to Toby's Down Syndrome is very inspiring. Thank you for sharing this part of your personal life with us so selflessly.
All the best to you and your family!
Ari, nice letter and am glad you aren't "selling" your program in the letter. I know what you offer is of value and appreciate your "human" approach to selling - I know it works for me even though I haven't bought your program. Thanks.
I think we adults have preconceived ideas which seriously limit the possibilities which lie within all of us.
They hold us back, keep us from achieving our potential, and from believing in miracles.
Hey, I've never written before and not bought your program yet. However, I would like to say thank you for your emails you have sent they have helped me out in different situations, even though I don't do much selling (which I do enjoy). I liked reading about what you have learned from your son. I'm addicted to personal development and as I read your comments I believe they could all be summed up in your first realization "Live in the present moment". Even with your remark as seeing your son as different from the other kids. If we would live in the present we wouldn't see someone with Down Syndrome as being any more different than anyone else than any two other people without D.S. I hope that made sense. It makes sense to me. And that just goes to prove my point that we all have strengths and weaknesses and we are brought up thinking that what is real is what we see. I don't want to go on and on like I could. And I'm sure you probably know more than me about this stuff. I do want to say that each one of us are better at some things than most other people because of our talents, strengths and actions we take. Like you and your knowledge about how to be a true salesman. Which is one of the greatest qualities to have if used for good. I would venture to bet (I'm not a betting man) that one of your son's greatest abilities is to teach that which is most important in life. And there can't be too many of those people around us. I'm sure he follows after you in that regard. But, I think, and hope and pray, that he will be better for our future generation's sake. Thanks for your desire to teach and for sharing with us and reminding me of many great and important things.
A beutiful story and so correct. For many years I have looked at children and adu;lts with down syndrome and realised at an early age that we all learn from these beautiful people. They do have so much love for everybody and they don't know the word or term selfish. Whenever I feel down a little sorry for myself, which thank god it is rare, but I soon think of all the children in this world who have illnesses in some form or another, and I think of their parents who suffer the heartache and realise they treasure every moment for how long it may be. You're son is amotivator himself when I look at his beautiful smile.
What a beautiful family you have and what a wonderful message you shared with me. I think the lessons from Toby is something I will put close by my work area. Thank you, Sara
Ari, Thanks for such an insightful set of pointers on life. The warmth from Toby and you and your wife emanates. Very best regards, Phil Sutter (HNS)
Hi Ari, my name is Nikke and I am Lisa's bud and roommate here in Frankfurt, Germany. I am from OC and also lived in SD during my SDSU days back in the early nineties. I really enjoyed your sharing of your wonderful family story. I have a friend with a muscular disfunction he was born with. His has many limitations but never let's them stand in the way of keeping a positive and fun-loving outlook on life. He is always a pleasure and so warm to be around, we never focus on the fact that he is "different". I recognize much of what you're saying as Jason or "Turbo" as we call him, has taught us a lot. Especially about slowing down and being in the moment. It is so nice to be reminded that Life Is 100% What You Make Of IT!!! Thank you for sharing and lots of love and good fortune to you and your beautiful family. :-) Happy 2006! Nikki.
Excellent observations and analogies and great way to put life, whether at work or play into prespective. Thanks and best wishes to you and yours in this new year.
Hi Ari, I always enjoy your newsletter but this one is special! Having a child with special is a challenge that lets us understand how unimportant most of the 'things' in our lives are. Our children can always teach us many things but we're usually too busy to learn. Thank you and I hope you can always keep your focus and enjoy Toby!
Hi Ari ,
I felt so much emotion connecting to the message from Toby . If we could only have his attitude and the way he enjoys life and do one thing at a time , and stop thinking of what people perceive us to be. We would definitely be better people. The last picture shows how happy of a family you guys are, let him keep that smile and positive attitude in his life forever.I enjoy your emails , they have a lot of wisdom inside.
The dear Lord took a look at you and your wife and decided to send you a special child. One that will always be happy and touch hearts. The only thing you want for your children is to be happy. Sometimes children have a hard time with that concept and search their lives for it. You were given a gift and how lucky Toby is to have you both.The smile on all of your faces is proof enough.
Happy New Year!
Thanks for all the insight you send me..
In your lessons from Toby, you made soem great points,live in the present moment and slow down and focus, really hit home with me.
I seem to try to do to much and then I really don't enjoy anything at that moment. I'll try to put it into use. Thank You!
Thanks, Ari. It brought tears to my eyes, because I am guilty of those things, especially of 'not being in the moment"
Thank you for sharing 'Toby's lessons'. It's good advice. I've been learning the same things as I get older, but what a shame so many years rushed through!
Happy New Year!
Your letter was great! It's amazing what we can learn from a child if we pay attention. Our children grew up with a neighbor's child who was also Down Syndrom. All three of our children as well as Mary Jo and I loved that little girl. I know our children learned some valuable lessons in those years.
Thanks for your insights.
Very nice article about lessons from Toby. Kids really bring us back to what is important. Thanks for sharing
Ari - I admire your renewed perspective on life and thank you for sharing your observations. Toby is an inspiration to us all.
This was inspirational and warm...thanks for sharing. I'll forward it to management. It fits in perfectly with my seminar tomorrow on Covey's habits. -DK
Thanks for staying "in touch"--as always you share the importance of being reflective on the positive and a foreshight about exacting the most from life.
It's amazing how much we can learn from children. I am a Youth Minister at my church and I've always said that I learn more from the kids than they could possibly learn from me.
Thanks for sharing your stories!
What touches me the most about your story is this sentence; " We want other people to be open to learning who we are, just as I want to be open to learning who Toby is, and I hope that other people will be open to that too." That has got to be the biggest challenge of all for parents, to learn just who our children are, not who you want them to be. Our children have so much to teach us, most of us are so focused on all that we want for them we fail to see what they already have. We just don’t, as you so eloquently put it, "live for the present moment". Children are indeed all unique with such great insight, insight that is innocent, honest and pure. I am a mother of four and they are four very different people. I think that the key is just that, they are people.
Thank you for sharing a part of Toby with us, if we can just get beyond the judging, we will see each other a little bit clearer.
More than ever, I appreciate your perspective and your thoughts. We will all learn from Toby--keep those observations coming! Blessings to you and your family as well this year. Thanks for sharing. From someone who doesn't take time to smell the flowers, I appreciate all that Toby can teach.
Thank you for sharing your private moments with us Ari. It's ispiring, and appreciated. Toby will have good friends in his parents given your attitudes. He has PLENTY more to teach you I am sure, if you take the time to listen.
Thank you for sharing the lessons you are learning from you son Toby, I am taking them on board by living in the present, slowing right down in this fast pace of life, being more focus, somtimes my wife helps me with this , I am not letting things get to me in 2006 , and I am learning to stop judging, we are all very unique and can learn from each other no matter where in the world we are from.
I hope you and your family will have a great and blessed year.
Great motivational story about your son Toby. I appreciate the folllow up emails and encouraging thoughts for each day. I am not quite ready to commit to any program just yet but I have been enjoying the items sent. Thank you.
Enjoyed your article...by education I am a social worker...by profession I am a new realtor...I have been in sales since I was 10 in my grandfather's store so selling comes naturally...I am having a difficult time getting leads on my own or convincing friends that I am capable of listing and selling their property (I should add I recently sold a very successful bridal shoppe)...long story short I just cannot seem to find the way to start....translating into frustration...I am 55 years young and ready for success...thanks for listening,,,,Marci P.S. your son is precious and I am sure will bring you many years of blessings....I adopted a little girl from China 11 years ago ....What blessings and joys she continually brings me...Marci .
Ari, Enjoyed the letter & also the one on your vacation.
How great it would be if we all applied the valuable lessons , to all phases of our lives, that you've learned from your beautiful Toby.
God bless you and your family in the New Year.
Happy New Year to you as well, reading your note about Toby and seeing his smile has put a big smile on my face. I sometimes wonder if we're the ones who aren't "normal" as these gifted people learn how to love without inhibitions that we develop as we grow. As I was reading your story it made me realize (don't know if you're a religious man or not) but I truly believe we are given things for a reason...and now you know why you've been blessed to have Toby. Thanks for your wisdom and insight.
How true it is. The great joy is, as young children we are free and less suceptible to vulnerabilities and judgements of others. The sad part as adults, is we become fixated on these same vulneralbilites that never bothered us as young children. I believe your approach with Unlock The Game helps overcome these quirks and as adults we become children again, having conversations, laughing etc. Thank you and God Bless.
I just read the story about your son. Thanks so much for taking the time to write this. It was inspiring and helped give me some much needed perspective this morning. God Bless you and your family.
Great article about Toby - you are so right, it is very difficult to get out of our "mindset" of different bias, etc., and just focus on the good things in life. I especially have found much more peace since reading a recent book by Joel Osteen "Your best life now", which for me was a breakthrough as I have about minimal spirituality.
Glad to see you are well.
Very encouraging story about Toby. Wishing you and yours a Healthy, Safe and prosperous 2006.
That was a lovely article. It reinforces what matters in life, and also how short life is.
Business is important, but not that important.
I spent a too much time away when my children were young . I hope you don't make the same mistake.
Best wishes and Happy New Year
Thanks for sharing your thoughful perspectives, on a very persoanl matter.
I have printed your message off and have placed on the wall in my office where I can easily refer to it. I am going through a difficult time, and appreciate the inspiration provided to me by your son.
All the best to you and your family in the new year!
Thanks. Solid proff that even a child can lead us. Peace happiness and god blesings to you Michelle and of course Toby the motivator.
Thanks for the personal note. It's 6 am here in Canada. Each morning
I start the day with a short reading generally Richard Carlson over the last
month. I think of one lesson each day and try to be certain that I pass it
on. Your piece has several lessons, the one I will run with today is slow
down, and focus. It reminds me of my favourite quotes, "Poise is Power".
All the best to you and your family.
Ari, Happy New Year!
Thank you for sharing this great lesson with us! I think it is very special!
Happy New Year